It’s been several months since I posted anything. And boy did I see a lot of crappy movies in that time. I know I’ve missed some in this list, but it was probably for good reason. Here are the most memorable, presented with Mr. Barring Teeth emoticons to denote stars and Mr. Dissapointed emoticons for 1/2 stars.
A Lot Like Love: A lot like a steaming pile of crap, actually. I’m seeing a growing a trend of horrible romatic comedies that do smashingly well with the critics, who obviously don’t actually *watch* the movie. I saw the goddamn boom mic twice in the film (once it almost hit Amanda Peet in the head as she was standing up on a bed or table or something that she probably didn’t need to stand on to progress the "plot" forward, and yes, I use the term "plot" loosely (thus the quotes)).
The Interpreter: It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great. Sean Penn looks more like Keith Richards with every film. I’m just starting to be able to see him without seeing thought bubbles sprout from his head saying, "Aloha, Mr. Hand!"
Fever Pitch: This was suprisingly funny. And there were no boom mics present, which probably made it earn the extra 1/2 . Typical Farrelly brothers formula: start of wicked funny, the characters hit a low point to show their character flaws and humanity, gradually work it’s way back up to being a comedy but never quite hit the same level where we started off at.
Guess Who: Again, funny but overly cheesy. Mostly funny (like 98.976%) because of Bernie Mack. I know it’s a remake, but I think I liked this movie better when it was called Meet the Parents.
The Wild Bunch: This movie was long and boring. I can appreciate the importance of it back in the day. But I’m jaded and cranky and watching this crap 40 years later and it’s not doing it for me. Could they have at least even put a little effort in transferring this to DVD? It was like watching it on VHS.
The Deer Hunter: Another movie I can appreciate the historical significance of. But goddamn, the first hour could have been cut down to about 10min? And yet another DVD transfer done with a friggin camcorder. We have the technology, people. Use it.