Lumps of Coal

Ho Ho Hollywood — apparently I’ve been naughty this year because they gave me a few lumps of coal in my stocking this month.  In the holiday spirit, I’ll be using the gift emoticons, but that’s only because there’s no "lump of poop" emoticon available.
 
Friends with Money:
They should have used some of that money to buy a plot.  And some character development.  And some plot.
 
Casino Royale:
Surprisingly good.  This is probably the first Bond movie that wasn’t boring.  And it was probably the first Bond in a while where the action required of the character was (for once) age appropriate — he was young enough that it was sort of possible for him to handle.  Seeing a 50+ year old Pierce Brosnon doing this was painful (and don’t even get me started on Roger Moore).
 
Ladies in Lavender:
Actually not terrible.  A little creepy with the innuendo of a spring/autumn relationship (more like "spring and really fucking old" actually).  The story was a little slow, but sweet.  I need to check out "Good Bye Lenin!" now.
 
Pretty Persuasion:
Wow this sucked (literally — watch the movie and you’ll see what I’m talking about).  I think I liked it better when it was called Heathers.  Actually, I think I liked it better when I didn’t see it.
 
The Last Kiss:
Walking into this movie expecting something good like Garden State is like walking into a, well, this movie sucked so bad I can’t even find a good analogy to do this justice.  Feel free to add your witty retort here.
 
The Black Dahlia:
What an incoherent mess.  If for some reason you decide to watch this movie (or the most likely situation is that you’re captured by the CIA and are locked in a room with a DVD player, this movie, and a 65" TV as a form of torture), just fast forward to the last 5 minutes when they explain all of the useless bullshit that you would have sat through.  The last 5 minutes actually make for a pretty good story.  The other 130+ minutes, not so much.
 
Transamerica:
Good acting, good story, blah blah blah.  Let’s get to the meat: for someone as svelt as Felicity Huffman, did the film makers really think a person of that size would have a member of that girth?  Seriously?
 
MI:III:
As Stephen Colbert called it, "Meh."  That pretty much sums it up.
 
Stealth:
I wish it was stealthy enough for me not to see.  I guess Jamie Foxx is phoning it in from now on since he starred in Ray.
 
A Scanner Darkly:
Meh.  The whole Fidelity Insurance cartoony aspect was kind of neat.  This movie was kind of drawn out and boring.  If it wasn’t for the cartoony stuff, this would be plain uninteresting filmmaking.  Which is a shame, because it’s a really neat story.
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